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And these words, which
I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:And thou shalt teach them
diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine
house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou
risest up.
Deuteronomy
6:6-7 King James Version (KJV)
Long before I conceived my first child, I always envisioned what it would look like when I had "20 or plenty" children. We would all be sitting cross legged on the floor. I would be the Mommy-teacher and my children would all be sitting before me. I would gently, lovingly guide them in this world by being aware of their individuality and needs, and teaching them the spiritual principles upon which their conduct in this world should be based.
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Tears of joy flowed from my eyes at the dream that became reality today. Something seemingly so simple, something I could have done so many times before, it never seemed to be real until yesterday when our internet connection took a blessed break. I can't do my job without the internet. I could do my other blessed job better without it: mothering my littles. So, yesterday when our internet went on vacay, we played games outside and had conversations that were punctuated by laughter. Of course, in this time time of sickness, uncertainty and death, I still have mercies for which I am thankful.
This morning, after reflecting on our play day the previous day, I called my girls so that we could have a meeting. I told them that I may not be able to run around as long as they wanted when we played outside, and that I will not be able to play Scrabble or Clue because my brain- my money-maker- is tired sometimes; but what I wanted was for us to sit cross-legged on the floor across from each other and just BE. We wouldn't even need to speak. We could just be present and silent or noisy but, oh Lord, to just be present in the moment.
It was a great time. I checked their ears and their teeth. I looked at their smiles and memorised the pimples on my teenaged daughter's face. I gave her advice about acne.
I was like the Mommy monkey searching the hair and skin of her young. It was a beautiful moment. We learned more about each other as we chatted and laughed- all electronic devices aside.
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I want to share 3 things that stood out to me in our session:
1. I am not the homeschooling Mom I hoped I would be.
I have accepted my limitations while being aware of my strengths. Even though I am a teacher by profession, I accept that I don't know how to deliver Math lessons and many other subjects that they need to know but I just don't understand. Perhaps, it would take great vidion and time to finally get that blessed rythm and grace. But! I can teach them my values as I share my stories and reflect with them about how to relate to others, for example. I want them to know that we should never seek to hurt others, but only to build them up as we traverse this life. Ephesians 4:29-32. So, yes, I will send them to school because I realise that, over the years, my children learn the traditional subjects better from their wonderful teachers. That's my reality and I am fine with that.
2. My children need me.
My teenager said something to me that completely justified a teaching about parenting in the Word of God. She said that she does not have the same kind of relationship with God as I do so she depends on me to teach her about Him. She depends on me to teach her the commandments of the Lord. She depends on my stories to help her understand the God I serve and Who she wants to know better. Of course, I remembered one of the guidelines in our parenting manual, the Bible.
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 King James Version (KJV)
3. Children need to know their identity is not their body.
What we look like is not who we are. Our body is a vehicle for our spirit so we are so much more than the pimples on our face, so much more than being slim or fat, so much more than the perfect smiles we share with the world. I told them the story about when I challenged myself on losing weight some years ago. I had modified my lifestyle and my results created a stir at work. Many persons asked me what was my secret. (Actually, it was the fun involved in challenging myself to eat differently and exercising.) However, my weight loss adventure hit a snag which I had to address if I was ever to continue being successful in the endeavour. I sought counselling. As my body was changing, I was becoming increasingly sad. I felt like I was looking at a stranger in the mirror. My features were changing particularly as I lost about 30 pounds. Although I enjoyed the process, I thought I was becoming someone I didn't know. The counsellor asked me to list some things I liked leading up to the start of the year. I told her liked reading and writing poetry, teaching and socialising. She asked if I still liked those things and I told her I did. I still found those activities exciting. Then she dropped what seemed like a bombshell. She told me that I am not 'the fat girl'. I am me (the Musing Mom) whether I gained or lost weight. I am still the me who has opinions and likes and dislikes. That is the me on the inside of my body. I had only thought of my identity as my body before losing weight and now I was losing what I thought was my identity. But I wasn't! I never changed. My body was but the me on the inside was still pretty cool!
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Beauty is not what is portrayed in the media such as the slim build, the athletic build, the curvaceous, big booty body, the ebony, ivory or golden-hued skin. Beauty is in the intentions of the being. What I look like is fleeting. Sure, we should take care of the body because if even one part of the body hurts, for example, it can cause us to be miserable and encourage misery in others. Take care of the inward man. Click here for 2 Corinthians 4:16.
I believe that the true beauty that lies within includes our care for and of the fallen and the vulnerable, fighting for justice for the violated and the poor.
Find the positive. Find little things to be thankful for and share your joy with others.
In short...
Who says I have to spend time with my children doing this activity or that? Who says it has to be structured a particular way? Who says that I have to be able to teach my children everything? Who says I am a good mother or bad mother? Who says? But what I know is that our children deserve the best that we can offer them, the best we can when we can. They want to learn from us. They want to be able to look back and remember a time in their history when they had a great experience with us. That experience may be something that they want to replicate with their children. Why not keep it simple, full of love and 100% free from condemnation?
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