When Hate is a Good Thing

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To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to love, and a time to hate... 

Ecclesiastes 3:1,8

I hate negativity!

I hate not eating properly. 

I hate feeling sad because of rejection and abandonment.

I hate worrying because it makes me feel crippled emotionally.

I hate feeling low emotionally. 

Being sick is the worst because I can't get to do what I want to do like going where I want and doing what I want.

I hate feeling guilty and resentful. 

And sometimes I hate thinking that I made some progress only to find that it was still not enough to scale the mountain! It can be so very frustrating. It's like hitting a plateau when I was on a weight loss programme.

Now that I have told you about some of the things that irk me, I think that I should share what I enjoy. The Promised Land of Balance...?

I love feeling at peace in my spirit.

I love feeling joy bubbling up in my spirit.

I love feeling free to be happy. 

I love feeling beautiful and accepted and loved.

I love some things that may seem a little weird to love like: routine and being sore after an exercise session and how my body feels after I eat a lot of vegetables in a certain season. I love when the time is cool but I also love when there is warm sunshine after a rainy season. Oh glory to God! 

I have experienced the highs and lows. Each time I go through any of those seasons, I learn more about what I abhor and what I enjoy.

Sometimes, Hate begets Good

Now I realise that experiencing the things I hate actually usher in extraordinary seasons:

1. Gratitude

In moments when I am uncomfortable, I long for those times when sweet abandonment to the predictable routine, for example, is something for which I am grateful. When the comfort of routine returns or is created, I am thankful because at least I know what to expect. 

It's like the way asthma attacks make me thankful when I can breathe freely and deeply. 

It's also like when having a clear mind and being able to make decisions after weighing the options are so much better than having a cloudy mind or expecting only doom when I was afflicted by depression. 

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2. Change 

Sometimes hating a feeling or situation is so radical that it causes a shift in my thought patterns, a shift in my value system, a shift in the way I do things.
For instance, hating the results of making negative pronouncements over me as a child has caused me to be the change in parenting. I don't want my children to think that they are a regret, or a mistake or that they are worth nothing. I remember feeling very unhappy when I heard things like that being said to or about me as a child. I don't want to be a source of misery for my children or other people's children. 

Also, sometimes, we have to hate Egypt so that we do not go back there. Sure, it may feel good in the moment but the results of indulging in that sweet decadence are never good afterwards. We hate the feelings and everything else that comes afterwards. Still, do we hate it enough to stop? Do we hate it enough to save our lives or other people's lives?

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3. Creativity

This blog was created out of pain. From seasons of discomfort are born amazing creative works! Of course pain can be an excellent teacher but it requires an outlet to ease the heart. Some people write music, others poetry, books. Me? I start a blog! 

Being at home all day and hearing negativity in most conversations, on the news and even experiencing things that make me feel low emotionally, actually led me to writing this article. Sometimes the heart can get so full that if there is no way to ease it, it just explodes and I don't ever want to get any of that on anybody! No way! Not cool!

Being able to share my experiences with pain and healing have helped me to move on in a positive direction. I am also able to help others who are going through similar challenges. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Let the creative energy flow so that others can benefit as you benefit from sweet release.

4. Strength Training

I hate waiting for something that makes my mouth water for its savoury goodness. I hate when I have to wait for what seems like an eternity for the prize. I may know what it is or I may just have great expectations. I just want it NOW. But, although I hate the waiting and/or the uncertainty, I realise that the waiting season is in itself an adventure that can cause greater things to be born! Such things or qualities can guarantee a firm grasp on the jewel for which I wait or it make enable me to secure other gems to enjoy. Oh, such a wonderful thought! As I wait, my travel companions Patience, Faith and Determination get the chance to grow big and strong. They thrive in the season of waiting... a season I don't like but I have grown to appreciate. 

Sowing in tears? Click here.

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5. Beautiful Beginnings

I don't know what you call someone who hates losing but has learnt to accept loss because of a guarantee of greater things to come. That someone is me. I can recall having a lot of things and relationships that I felt were good for me only to lose them. I hate that shift so much! But... dare I hasten to suggest that I have learnt to rejoice? More often than not, you can find my eyes leaking for days or even months as I try to ease my hurt at the loss but something even better takes their place! Sometimes, I have to walk away from what I enjoy, and it hurts, but something so much better finally comes my way! Sometimes that 'something so much better' is peace and growth. Once, just before a move and a major shift in my life, the Lord told me that He wanted to make me fruitful. Sometimes, the change that I hate is for my own good.

Lost something? Click here.

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6. What you can't Cure, God will help you to Endure.

In the times that I hate how I feel or what is happening, that's when I hear even more from the Lord. One time, for instance, at about 3 am, I heard words of comfort in my spirit that I cannot repeat because I do not know that language, but I know they are words of comfort. Then He sent me to Ephesians 1:5 so that I know Almighty God is my family. This had happened before I lost a member of my family. 

I remember going through another rough season and I prayed in my heart for the Lord to hug me and a few days later, a sweet little lady walked up to me and gave me a hug! She said the Lord told her to hug me as soon as she saw me at work. 

How can I forget when I was finishing my first degree studies?! It was a difficult time. A colleague of mine had prophesied that I should go back to school even though I would have to work less hours and after I had just my son. Miraculously, money was sent to my bank account that was just enough to pay my debt from the first year of study when I had dropped out four years before! I gave up when I was doing my research paper. Then, I read the book of Nehemiah (I'm doing a great work and I cannot come down to your distraction) and listened to this song everyday. My grades in my final year, with the exception of one B, were all A's. Then, on the day I submitted my research paper, I was hired to teach at a school that offered more income and stability. Graduation was my victory ceremony!

It is never easy, but you are not alone. Abba is close to us when we struggle with the situations we hate but have to endure. This too shall pass...

Read the entire chapter about Nehemiah's response to his detractors here.

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In short...

Sometimes we have to hate something so much that our mindset can be shifted in order for us to experience greater things.

Almighty God still gives us beauty for ashes! Isaiah 61:3