For our light and momentary troubles are
achieving for us an eternal glory
that far outweighs them all!
2 Corinthians 4:17 (NIV)
Disclaimer: I
am not a doctor. I do not diagnose nor recommend medication for any ailment. I
do not encourage that persons stop taking medication if they are on a regimen.
I do encourage everyone to exercise trust in the Lord whether they take
medicines. I stand firmly by something someone once said to me: the
doctor treats but God Almighty heals.
Hi Friends!
Confessions of Depression Survivor is
a blog series that documents my testimony of surviving Type 2
Bipolar Depression through the promise of healing in Jesus Christ.
This series will consist of a number of chapters depicting the stages of the
affliction and how I came out with more victory than I imagined.
The aim of the series is to show that one encounter with the Lord
can change EVERYthing!
What the enemy of our souls mean for evil, our
Heavenly Father works it out for our good. Romans
8:28
Follow my story:
Chapter FIVE
Delivered!
I had just moved closer to attempting suicide when an invisible force gently led me away from the edge of my roof.
My husband had no response when I shared this experience with him but...
My
older daughter joyfully bounced into the room.
With
great delight, she declared, “Mommy, I know a song that I want to sing to you!
Listen, Mommy!”
My
daughter had just started infant school (Kindergarten) and she was singing many
songs at that age… but tonight, she had a message from Jehovah-Rophe for me.
(Jehovah-Rophe
means ‘God Who heals, restores those who are hurting, sick’ Exodus 15:26)
She
opened her mouth and sang, “Jesus loves me this I know/ for the Bible tells me
so!”
In
my mind I was in a dark room surrounded by brick walls and there was no light.
It was like a movie being played out in my mind as she sang to me…
“Little
ones to him belong,
They
are weak but…”
A
tiny beam of light broke through one of the four walls.
“He
is strong”
The
light grew bigger and bigger and started filling the room of my consciousness!
“Yes,
Jesus loves me!
Yes,
Jesus loves me!”
The
bricks could not stand the power of the light! The bricks were all breaking and
as the light broke through! My mind! It was transforming!
“Yes,
Jesus loves me!
The
Bible tells me so!”
And I was never the same again.
My deliverance had started and there was no turning back!
The
Journey to Healing
My life improved from that night.
The
idea that Jesus Christ loves me resonated in my spirit from that time until now.
The song pointed to the fact that Jesus’ love for me is recorded in the Bible
and so,
a strong desire arose in me to read it. I wanted to know more about this God and Jesus who
broke down the walls of depression and suicide in me. I had never seriously
read my Bible even after many years of being a baptized Christian.
Now,
I noticed that all the times I had relapsed into depression I would lose the ability
to read. This time, however, I didn’t feel lost in my mind as I normally did in
those times. I decided that this was my chance!
I
decided to forget everything I had ever heard or was taught about God in
church, school or anywhere. I emptied my mind and asked the Lord to teach me
the truth in His Word. And He did.
I
felt led to read Hebrews and this book blew my mind! Then I continued reading
until the depression returned. I was frustrated because by this time I was
reading the Bible every chance I could get. I was also telling everyone I could
about what I was discovering in the Word. I saw the things that were going on the
world and in the churches that were not according to the teachings in the Bible.
The Lord became so much more real to me than I had ever experienced Him before.
Troubling Side Effects
My
concerns about the side effects of the pills I was taking increased. One day, a
colleague of mine shared her opinion about the drugs. I hadn’t spoken with her
about my concerns but she just blurted out that the same drugs that were
supposed to stabilize mood caused the patients to return with
depression.
That
evening I made a decision. I decided that I was going to act on the faith I was
reading about in the Bible. I had read that God Almighty gave me a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) and 1John 5:4 says, “For whatsoever is born of God
overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, even
our faith.” Faith would be what propelled me
to the healing I hoped for like Hebrews 11:1. I would not take any more
of the pills. They helped me up to a point. They treated some symptoms and for this I was grateful but I needed healing and I was going to trust the God of the Bible for my healing.
By
this time I was reading 2 Corinthians which I affectionately call “The Book of
Comfort”. I decided I would start memorizing scriptures so that when the
depression came back and I couldn’t read, I would recite them. I believed every
word I was reading. I would combat the demons of depression with faith and the Word
of God- the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians6:17). That was my plan!
My
local church and my mother’s church family were praying for me, my friends,
family as well; and with God’s help, the plan worked!
My
local church and my mother’s church family were praying for me, my friends,
family as well; and with God’s help, the plan worked!
When
the depression returned, I would recite the scriptures I had memorized like my cornerstone
scripture 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:
…Though the outward man perishes,
yet the inward man is renewed day by day.
For
this light affliction is but for a
moment and worketh for me a far more
exceeding and eternal weight of glory;
While we look not
at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the
things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are
eternal.
(Emphasis
and personalization are mine.)
My
method was:
At the first feelings of loneliness, sadness, doom, and feeling lost, I would recite
scriptures.
Then, I
would get up and shower, comb my hair and, in general, get active.
It
worked! It always did!
I
have not taken another mood stabilizer, anti-psychotic or antidepressant since the
end of 2011.
All
depression symptoms and suicidal thoughts disappeared by early 2012!
I
walk in gratitude every single day!
I have shared my testimony many times because I have experienced the healing power of Jehovah-Rophe. I understand that one reason for affliction is to draw us closer to God. I have been so much closer to Him since then and find great joy when I read the Bible. Nothing beats a personal relationship with the Lord. Church attendance, praise parties and all the Christian books we read can never take the place of sitting at His feet and learning from Him, talking with Him, and meditating on the truths in His Word.
Depression showed me my strengths: depression showed me that I am a SURVIVOR because I have a Loving Father Who is willing to pull me back from the edge and love me through my darkest times... if I only believe.
It's Your Turn!
We have all been through the dark places.
Share with us in the comments the lessons you learned.
Your experience may save a life!
God bless you!
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